Yoink Museum

Klyde Cheerman the Cheer-up robot was showing a visitor a stone tablet, sweetie-eatie the god of sweets and ghosts also known as pacman.

The visitor pointed up at the sky and said there was an airplane. Klyde turned around to have a look. 

The visitor took his stone tablet and ran off to the Yoink Museum. 

The stone tablet was placed as an exhibit in the museum.

Next it was a greek depiction of the innocence stolen from a hospital by a radio DJ in England. Jimmy Savile 

It was dated to a similar time period. 

Facebook

Klyde Cheerman the Cheer-up robot wanted to know more about Facebook. So he Checked on the Internet. 

Apparently there is a book about Facebook 

Jack and James to Fly

Klyde Cheerman the cheer-up robot was helping out at the airport. They put him incharge of passport inspection. 

Conjoined Twins Jack and James approached the inspection desk. 

Jack's passport had expired but James' passport was ok, so Klyde told Jack he has to stay but James can go. 

The manager of the airport told Klyde that he needed to wake his ideas up but Klyde didn't understand. 

Tell me the news

Klyde Cheerman the cheer-up robot asked his smart speaker for the news.  

He said "Smart Speaker,  tell me the news".  

The Smart Speaker said "Breaking news, Klyde Cheerman is a cheap Skate so his internet is too slow to stream the news". 

Klyde Looks for Jokes

Klyde Cheerman the Cheer-up robot was looking for jokes so he could cheer everyone up. 

Here are some of the jokes he found:

A guy was pickpocketing in a carehome elevator, he was immoral on different levels. 

Two conjoined twins were asked to give their friends a hi5, they clapped their hands. 

A guy was doing his grocery shopping online, he realized they sell engine oil for his car. When he put the oil in, his car went "woooof pooof pooof bang" , it turns out they sold out of the oil and substituted with sunflower oil. (He should check the label first) 

A guy ordered cooking oil online. When he fried his chips and ate them his arse went "pooof caboosh swish wooosh wooooosh", they sold out of sunflower oil and substituted it for 15w40 semi synthetic Motor oil instead. (He should check the label) 

A sat nav sent a car into the ocean, the destination was set to whales. 

A holiday maker asked for a refund, they went to Newquay, it was old. 

Every day in every way I use more soap to wash my face, especially on the forehead. 

Klyde at BHF

Klyde Cheerman the Cheer-up robot thought he would have a look at the British Heart Foundation Charity Shop, a shop full of second hand furniture. The British heart Foundation were trying to raise money to help discover cures for heart diseases. 

Klyde likes British hearts. 

Klyde was inspired to colour in his chrome heart on his chest to look more heart like. (and to make him look less like a generic robot cartoon character). 

klyde was wondering where they get all that furniture from. 

Posh Mountain Water

Klyde Cheerman the cheer-up robot offered his friend a glass of tap water. His friend said he doesn't drink tap water, he drinks 'Posh Mountain Water'. 

New Job

Klyde Cheerman the cheer-up robot got a new job. To write instructions on walls. To get the job he needed to be fluent in several languages, he was. 

On the first day of the job he was asked to write 'this way' in French on the wall. 

So he wrote 'This way in French'. 

knowledge is power

Klyde Cheerman the cheer-up robot was watching TV. There was a TV show about a corruption investigation. 

"We need to know the truth, knowledge is power" says the journalist. 

klyde Cheerman thought to himself that British Gas must know a lot. He thought the national grid must have a lot of books. 

Name origins

Klyde Cheerman the cheer-up robot was chatting on his computer to some humans. He was asking them what their names mean. 

Klyde: Why are you called Brooklyn?

Brooklyn:  Because I was conceived in Brooklyn. 

Klyde: Chelsea, what about you? Why are you called Chelsea. 

Chelsea: Because I was born in Chelsea. 

Klyde:  So Paul, why are you called Paul. 

Paul:  My middle name is Out  because my Dad didn't Pull out in time. So my name is Paul Out Mcquick. 

Klyde: Oh ok. 

Nikola Tesla

Klyde Cheerman the cheer-up robot saw that he had a very large electric bill. 

His friend said "Nikola Tesla would be turning in his grave". 

He was buried with his wires, magnets and batteries and inadvertently turned his skeleton into an electric motor thought Klyde. 

Time Travel

Klyde Cheerman the cheer-up robot went into a time machine to see what it was like in the past. He saw a dinosaur and remembered from a movie that Tyrannosaurus rex can't see you if you stand still. He put the theory to the test. 

Well, at least it swallowed him whole and pooped him out. 

What Is That Sign?

Klyde Cheerman the cheer-up robot was totally confused. He saw a sign and didn't understand what it meant. 

He  looked at it and thought it was a No Entry sign.

It turns out the sign was the new twitter logo. 

really? 

Dan Druff

Mr Druff was so grateful for Klyde Cheerman cheering him up while his wife was in labour that he asked him to give his new born son a name. 

Klyde Cheerman thought Dan would be a nice name. 

Dan Druff has a ring to it. 

Klyde Draws an American

Klyde Cheerman the cheer-up robot decided he wanted to draw and American. 

He drew one merry can. A can that is Merry. "A Merry Can". 

Klyde Eats Out

Klyde Cheerman the cheer-up robot took a friend out to a pizza restaurant for a meal. 

His friend said "No! I don't want to eat in there". Klyde said "why"? 

klyde doesn't eat because he is a robot anyway. 

Klyde's friend explained that they keep interrupting his videos he is streaming with their advertisements and it gets on his nerves. 

Klyde uses AI

Klyde Cheerman the cheer-up robot wanted to know what he would look like if he was human. 

He took his picture and submitted it to a AI image generator. 

Then the ai software generated an image of what he would look like if he was human. 

It looked nothing like him. 

Oyster Card

Klyde Cheerman the cheer-up robot was wondering why the reusable transit pass for London was called an 'Oyster Card' 

He tried to imagine someone thinking of a name. 

Oi it is an Oyster card. Named after an animal that stays in one place all of its life. 

They should call it a falcon card or cheetah card or a fox card. Name it after an animal that moves around a lot at high speed!